It’s neat looking back at everything I wanted. I think some part of me figured those desires would always be dreams. I’m not sure if I actually thought this life would come to fruition or if daydreaming was simply an escape from my reality. I was 18, living off credit; no car, no license, working 4 jobs, burnt out, surrounded by negativity and dating someone who was absolutely detrimental to my well-being and finances. I was scared and confused, yet somewhere deep down I knew I was meant for more.
I spent a lot of my transportation time thinking about what I wanted - a steady job, (better yet to be my own boss, ya right), my license, a car, a partner that loved me, a house, a backyard, a nice bike, new clothes, new friends, etc. I knew I was made for more, but so much of my reality had shown me that wasn’t true. So I kept dreaming, thinking upon that which I desired.
Several years later, on a business photoshoot it dawned on me, so much of where I was now had manifested!! I paused and looked up at the car dealerships, realizing that the job I’d had there years before, the very job I left to start this business, had, at one time, been something I desired.
I recalled that moment, I had another hour long walk ahead of me, for another 5am shift (busses didn’t run that early) and it was -40c again. I was miserable, and felt like giving up. That day I looked at the car dealerships and said “One day, I’m going to work there. One day I’ll be a somebody. One day.” And in that very moment on that PhotoShoot, I realized, holy shit I did it. I got the job, and then left it for my business!
So, I got that too. I (finally) got my license, my car, a house, a yard - I got it all! I remember this moment with deep appreciation - it was sacred; a culmination of the inner work I’d done. I took control of my thoughts, embraced a practice required to rewrite my story; changed the way I responded to things and reflected on my past with perspective and insight, rather than through the lens of trauma. And here I am.
I don’t know about you, but that’s all the proof I need that what I’m calling in now is inevitably on it’s way to me 🙏🏻✨🤍