As the seasons change, I always find myself reflecting on the season. This year, I’m a bit sad I didn’t carve out enough time for enjoying life. I didn’t do much in the name of joy or pleasure, and I certainly didn’t relax enough.
Life’s been full with anything other than the scenes I painted above, and I had to really take a minute to see where I might have been able to do any of it differently. Because yes, this season has been a bit rocky, super full with work and responsibility, but I now see that I was just in a loop. A loop of stress, (thanks C-PTSD flare up) and a cycle of grind. It felt like there was always something needing my attention, and for the most part that was true. There were also pockets of time in which I could have laid down, or rested, or taken time to float in the water. Hindsight hey 🤦🏻♀️🤗
At the time though, I didn’t see it. I was too far below water to see anything but the sinking. I didn’t know it was that far gone - until I did. I caught myself slowly reclining on a bench just a couple weeks ago. As I finally rested my head flat on the pillow, back fully reclined, it dawned on me - this was the first time I’d laid down in the sun ALL SUMMER 🤯
From that moment on, the stress cycle fell apart - because I chose it. I decided that something had to change. And so, I’ve since read half a book and started walking again. I even took 3 days (mostly) off to catch my breath and to catch up on other things I’d been neglecting. And my word, the productivity that follows…. 🤯😂
Anywho, I’m sharing this for those of you struggling to give yourself grace. To the souls who think they must always show up, always perform and always do. To the one who sacrifices their well-being in the name of someone else - I see you. And if you’re of the big-hearted variety, I see you extra 🥹
If this is you - I hope this post can serve as your ‘aha’ moment - like me slowly allowing my body to recline into relaxation. Maybe it’s been a minute since you scanned out and took a Birds Eye view of your situation, so start there. Reassess, change what needs changing and give yourself grace ♥️
